With the inspiration of revgeorge, and the urging of Red Rocker, I shall open up this little post for us all to provide and discuss some of our favorite movie quotes. Whether you remember Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, George Clooney in Oh Brother, Where Art Though?, or Michael Gamb… Well, I guess I shouldn’t get carried away…
A number of quotes stick out to me, some of which I’m not willing to post here word-for-word. The Big Lebowski sticks out to me as one of my favorite movies of all time, and it is so very quotable. But not always in a family setting! So, some others:
- Ghostbusters: “I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing.”
- The Big Lebowski (I had to stick in one): “But I’ll tell you what – after seeing Los Angeles, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.”
- Jaws: “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail: “That rabbit’s dynamite!”
Fire away!
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It wasn’t him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room and you said, “Kid, this ain’t your night. We’re going for the price on Wilson.” You remember that? “This ain’t your night”! My night! I coulda taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors on the ballpark and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn’t have to take them dives for the short-end money.
On the Waterfront
“It’s the, eh, stuff dreams are made of.” The Maltese Falcon
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” The Original Star Wars Trilogy
“No, I am your father.” Darth Vader in Empire Strikes Back. Or for Arkansas Jedi: “Luke, I am your father…and brother!”
“Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges.” The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.” Airplane
Dark Helmet:
I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
Lone Star:
What does that make us?
Dark Helmet:
Absolutely nothing, which is what you are about to become.
Spaceballs
“Mrs. Hogwallop up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T.” …
“Get in boys, I’m gonna R-U-N-N-O-F-T!”
from “Oh! Brother, Where Art Thou?”
I guess I like these lines because it shows that even people who can’t spell properly still use the old “Spell-out-the-word” technique to keep from telling their kids bad news, or something they don’t want the kids to know, and the kids still figure it out anyway!
“McPherson, has it occured to you that you’re acting very strangely. It’s a wonder you don’t come here like a lover with flowers and candy. Drugstore candy of course. Do you ever entertain fantasies of Laura standing with you at the policeman’s ball, or listening to you recounting the tale of how you got your leg? You want to be more careful McPherson or you’ll end up in a psychiatric ward. I doubt they’ve ever had a patient who fell in love with a corpse.”
“I don’t need a compass to tell me which way the sun shines.” Mystery Men
“When was the last time you remember doing something during the day?”
“What do you mean?”
“I just mean during the day. Daylight. When was the last time you remember seeing it? And I’m not talking about some distant, half-forgotten childhood memory, I mean like yesterday? Last week?” Dark City
“Doc, I’m from the future. I came back in a time machine that YOU invented. Now I need your help to get back to the year 1985.”
“Do you know what this means?… It means that this @*%# thing doesn’t work at all!” Back to the Future
“Did you think your song and dance and your superstition would help you? I am the Third Revelation. I am who The Lord has chosen. Because I’m SMARTER than you! I’m older! And because I’m not a false prophet, you snivelling boy! I AM THE THIRD REVELATION! I AM THE THIRD REVELATION! I TOLD YOU I WOULD EAT YOU! I TOLD YOU I WOULD EAT YOU UP!”
I think he’s a bit annoyed.
“No matter where you go, there you are.”
From Jurassic Park:
Ian Malcolm: “God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs…”
Ellie Sattler: “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth…”
Another one from Malcolm who is my favorite character in both the book(s) and the movie(s):
“God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers!”
Dave, it is a moral imperative that when quoting GHOSTBUSTERS, one must also mention:
“Ray, the next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!”
Mrs. Bennet: Have you no consideration for my poor nerves?
Mr. Bennet: You mistake me, my dear. I have the utmost respect for your nerves. They’ve been my constant companion these twenty years.
Pride and Prejudice
“Sometimes it’s a good day to die; sometimes it’s a good day to have breakfast.” – Smoke Signals
“I haven’t faced death: I cheated death. I tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing.” – Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
“This is the oddest thing I’ve ever heard of. Let’s hope we don’t catch it. I’d hate to wake up some morning and find out that you weren’t you.” – Invasion of the Body Snatchers
“I have often thought that in the hereafter of our lives, when I owe no more to the future and can be just a man, that we may meet, and you will come to me and claim me as yours, and know that I am your husband. It is a dream I have.” – Excalibur
And from my very favorite film (The Lion in Winter), here are several favorites:
Geoffrey: It’s isn’t power I feel deprived of; it’s the mention I miss. There’s no affection for me here. You wouldn’t think I’d want that, would you?
Henry: Good God, woman, face the facts!
Eleanor: Which ones? We’ve got so many.
Geoffrey: I know. You know I know. I know you know I know, we know that Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it. We’re a knowledgeable family.
Henry: What kind of courage have you got?
Philip: The tidal kind: it comes and goes.
Henry: Your father would have wept.
Philip: My father was a weeper.
and, last but not least,
Geoffrey: Why, you chivalric fool – as if the way on fell down mattered.
Richard: When the fall is all there is, it matters.
Ok – I’m going to be here all day. First up -
TBL
Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Strider: “Gentlemen, we do not stop ’till nightfall”
Pippin: “What about breakfast?”
Strider: “We’ve already had it”
Pippin: “We’ve had one yes, what about second breakfast?”
Merry: “I don’t think he knows about second breakfast, Pip”
Pippin: “What about elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them doesn’t he?
Merry: “I wouldn’t count on it”
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
————————-
Ivy Walker: “When we are married, will you dance with me? I find dancing very agreeable. Why can you not say what is in your head?”
Lucius Hunt: “Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding
night.”
The Village
“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff. ”
“Where is my super suit? … The public is in danger!”
“My evening’s in danger!”
“You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!”
“‘Greater good?’ I am your *wife*! I’m the greatest *good* you are ever gonna get!”
“I can’t lose you again. I’m not strong enough.”
[The Iron Giant's last line, which I will not spoil.]
“Some music needs air. Roll down your window.”
“You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you’re still smiling.”
My wife contributed these two:
“Too many notes.” – from “Amadeus”
“Cow! Cow!” – from “Twister”
My own is:
Dorothy: “How can you talk if you haven’t got a brain?”
Scarecrow: “I don’t know!”
To everyone (but especially Tom, Treebeard, Eric, and Joivre, although I recognize where your quote is from, of course) could you all please let us know the name of the movie the quote is from? It helps place it in context.
Eric, I can’t remember The Iron Giant’s last line, although I’ve seen it many times. Is it “Hogarth”? Also, did you know that the voice of the giant was done by Vin Diesel?
Amy H., you got a lot of great lines from Lion, but you missed my favorite:
Eleanor: “What family doesn’t have its ups and downs?”
Although in trying to find the exact quote, I also found:
Prince John: “A knife! He’s got a knife!”
Eleanor: “Of course he has a knife, he always has a knife, we all have knives! It’s 1183 and we’re barbarians! How clear we make it. Oh, my piglets, we are the origins of war: not history’s forces, nor the times, nor justice, nor the lack of it, nor causes, nor religions, nor ideas, nor kinds of government, nor any other thing. We are the killers. We breed wars. “
Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?
Sully: That’s right, Matrix. You did.
Matrix: I lied.
Commando
There’s something out there waiting for us, and it ain’t no man. We’re all gonna die. Predator
I want my two dollars! Better Off Dead
Snake Plissken… I’ve heard of you. Escape from New York
Gort! Klaatu barada nikto! The Day the Earth Stood Still
“Young lady, either you have been raised in some incredibly rustic community where good manners are unknown or you are under the common feminine delusion that the mere fact of being a woman exempts you from the rules of civilised conduct. In either case, you are mistaken.”
Oh, what the heck.
“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
The Princess Bride
“They’re here!!!” Poltergeist
“What we’ve got here is…failure to communicate.” Cool Hand Luke
“Warriors!! Come out to playaaaaa!!!” The Warriors
Of course, Deliverance has some great quotes too, but I won’t post them here.
Mongo: “Mongo only pawn… in game of life”
Blazing Saddles
Blazing Saddles has a lot of great lines. Some of them may even make it past the censor:
Jim: “Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word “draw” in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, “Reach for it, mister!” I spun around… and there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I’ve been there ever since.”
Jim again:
“What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.”
“You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids?” – George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart), It’s a Wonderful Life. I love my kids more than anything… but still…
“We know it’s a fish.” – Best in Show
“You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.” – Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), The Princess Bride
“If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me earlier!” – Rob (John Cusack), High Fidelity
“That may work with the chicks, but not with me.” – Bill Murray, Scrooged
“HARRY, DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE!!!!!!!” Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire I don’t know about famous but infamous certainly counts.
“I know what you’re thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya punk?” Dirty Harry
“Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!” The Planet of the Apes
“Go ahead, make my day!” Sudden Impact
“Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!” Dr. Strangelove
“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.” Sunset Boulevard
“I am big! It’s the pictures that got small.” Sunset Boulevard
“Round up the usual suspects.” Casablanca
“You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.” To Have and Have Not
“A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Psycho
“God may forgive me, but the State of Mississippi’s a bit more hard-nosed about it.” – George Clooney, O Brother, Where Are Thou? If that’s not quite the line, I think it’s close.
I’m enjoying reading everyone else’s favorite lines. Lots of great ones, especially from Ghostbusters, Pride & Prejudice, and Cool Hand Luke. Which would be an oddly pleasing triple feature, by the way…
revgeorge and other Dirty Harry fans, take a look at Dirty Harry meets Rain Man:
http://xkcd.com/692/
Another Clint Eastwood -
Get off my lawn.
Gran Torino
Some more Blazing Saddles
Lilly von Schtupp: Let’s face it. Evewything below the waist… is kaput!
“Soylent Green is people!!” Soylent Green
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” Apocalypse Now
“Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?” Batman (1989)
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t
believe. Attack ships on fire off the
shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams
glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser
gate. All those moments will be lost in
time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
Blade Runner
Can’t believe nobody posted that one before now; can’t believe I hadn’t posted it before now.
“We’re on a mission from God.” The Blues Brothers
Sound off like you got a pair!
Full Metal Jacket
“You’ll shoot your eye out.” A Christmas Story
“It’s time someone put their foot down, and that foot is me.” Animal House
“Yippie-ki-yay, (expletive)! Die Hard
“Hey, Bud, let’s party!” Fast Times at Ridgemont High
“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.” The Godfather
“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?” The Graduate
“I was born a poor black child.” The Jerk
“Oh, Frank, my lips are hot. Kiss my hot lips.” M*A*S*H
“Over? Did you say “over?” Nothing is over
until we decide it is! Was it over when the
Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!” Animal House
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy has so many quotes I find hilarious – but I will restrain myself to only ten of my favorites….
Public TV News Anchor: Not so fast, you ingrates. Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials, no mercy.
Ron Burgundy: [the news team is in the bear pit, fighting] Hit ‘em in the uvula!
Ed Harken: A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.
Champ Kind: What in the hell’s diversity?
Ron Burgundy: Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.
Ron Burgundy: [after jumping into the grizzly bear pit at the San Diego Zoo] I immediately regret this decision.
Ron Burgundy: [to dog] You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.
Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…
Ron Burgundy: Sweet Lincoln’s mullet.
Ron Burgundy: Great Odin’s raven.
Veronica Corningstone: Jazz flute is for little fairy boys.
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica] It’s all right, my sweet chinchilla.
And finally my favorite -
Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there’s no way that’s correct.
Ron Burgundy: I’m sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don’t know what it means. I’ll be honest, I don’t think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn’t it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that’s – that’s what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.
“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”
“May the Force be with you!” Both from Star Wars
You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
A hospital? What is it?
It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.
Surely you can’t be serious.
I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.
(Flying High to us in Australia, Airplane to the rest of you).
I could quote the whole movie for this post.
… Actually I probably could. It’s the perfect movie for 13 year old boys of every age.
“The fate of the world…is in my hands?……That’s so…sad.” The Librarian: Quest for the Spear
“Son, I’m sorry. They got us.” Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
“Bless us, O Lord, for these Thy gifts which we are about to receive. And yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food, I will fear no hunger. We want You to give us this day our daily bread, and to the republic for which it stands. And by the power invested in me, I pronounce us ready to eat. Amen.” Sister Act
“A pox on the phony king of England!” Robin Hood (Disney animated)
Great idea, Dave and Red Rocker! Hmmm. So many options … How can I possibly sum up the hilarity that is Surf Ninjas in a quote or two?
Zatch: “Your father was a king. You are crown princes of the land of Patusan.”*
Adam: “Port-a-san? You mean those portable toilets they have at contruction sites? Ew, I give up the throne.”
Likewise, Napoleon Dynamite.
Napoleon: “This is pretty much the worst video ever made.”
Kip: “Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.”
Also, the humor of some things are so dependent on context; for instance, the line “I think the sofa should go right there” from While You Were Sleeping. Ah, but that’s funny.
I’m enjoying reading everyone’s contributions!
*Part of quote approximated. It’s been awhile since I saw this.
Eric P. – I LOVE The Incredibles! I thought I was the only one who loved that quote.
Hrundi V Bakshi: “Birdie num num.”
The Party
revgeorge Roy Batty’s dying words are amongst my all-time favorite lines. If they hadn’t been posted recently on another thread, I would have posted them again. But no matter: I never tire of hearing them so thanks for posting them.
Last one tonight:
Joker: “Why would I kill you? You complete me.”
Dark Knight
Well damn it! There’s no way I gonna let a foreign, soul-suckin’, graffiti-writin’ son of a bitch with oversized cowboy hat and boots take my friends’ souls and s**t ‘em down the visitor’s toilet!
-Elvis Presley
Bubbahotep
Game over, man! Game over!
-Hudson
Aliens
The naked Gun
Ed: Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.
Frank: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.
Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos, dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that’s *my* policy!
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of ‘Julius Caesar,’ you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!
Big Trouble in Little China
Jack Burton: That is not water.
Egg Shen: Black blood of the earth.
Jack Burton: Do you mean oil?
Egg Shen: I mean black blood of the earth.
Pinstripe lawyer: Okay. But if I’m gonna be your attorney, there are a few things that I have to know that, uh, still don’t make any sense to me. Like, um, you really believe in magic?
Egg Shen: You mean Chinese black magic?
Pinstripe lawyer: Yes.
Egg Shen: Oh, absolutely.
Pinstripe lawyer: Are you still serious about this? And, uh, monsters and ghosts as well, I suppose?
Egg Shen: Oh, sure. And sorcery.
Pinstripe lawyer: And I suppose that, uh, you expect me to believe in sorcery as well?
Egg Shen: Of course!
Pinstripe lawyer: Why?
Egg Shen: Because it’s real.
Pinstripe lawyer: How can I know that, Mr. Shen?
Egg Shen: How?
Pinstripe lawyer: Yes, how? Help me out here. Please, how?
[Shen raises his hands, and a small bolt of lightning jumps between his palms. The lawyer stares, open-mouthed]
Egg Shen: See? That was nothing. But that’s how it always begins. Very small.
Salute of the Jugger/ The Blood of Heroes
Young Gar: 26 stones! That’s all, 26 stones and you received the attention of the League?
Sallow: We were the only ones who ever lasted that long – and two of us were still standing. It was a good game. We played very well.
Zulu
Colour Sergeant Bourne: A prayer’s as good as bayonet on a day like this.
Cromwell
Oliver Cromwell: It’s an odd thing, Mr. Ireton. Every man who wages war believes God is on his side. I’ll warrant God should often wonder who is on his.
Oliver Cromwell: Therefore, put your trust in God – and keep your powder dry!
Oliver Cromwell: O Lord, Thou knowest how busy I must be this day. If I forget Thee, do not Thou forget me.
Oliver Cromwell: You are scum, sir! And not even properly elected scum at that.
L.A. Confidential
Captain Dudley Smith: I admire you as a policeman – particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job.
Jack Vincennes: … Rollo Tamasi.
Mississippi Burning
Ward: Just don’t lose sight of whose rights are being violated!
Anderson: Don’t put me on your perch, Mr. Ward.
Ward: Don’t drag me into your gutter, Mr. Anderson!
Anderson: These people are crawling out of the sewer, Mr Ward! Maybe the gutter’s where we outta be!
Uncle Buck
Buck: Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.
Blazing Saddles
Rev Johnson: Oh Lord, do we have the strength to complete this task… or are we just jerking off?
All: AMEN!
Hedley Lamarr: That’s Hedley!
Raiders of the Lost Arc
Indiana: I hate snakes, Jaques! I hate ‘em!
History of the World Pt 1
Count de Monet: Don’t be saucy, Bearnaise!
Dole Officer: Occupation?
Comicus: Stand-up philosopher
Dole Officer: Oh, a bull$&!* artist
Monk: Torquemada – do not beg him for mercy. Torquemada – do not ask him for forgiveness. Let’s face it – you can’t Torquemada anything!
King Louis XVI: It’s good to be the king.
“Every now and then some elder statesman of the theater or cinema assures the public that actors and actresses are just plain folks. Ignoring the fact that their greatest attraction to the public is their complete lack of resemblance to normal human beings.”
- Addison DeWitt/All About Eve
And of course, what list of great movie quotes would be complete without this:
“Say you have a milkshake … and I have a milkshake … and I have a straw, that’s the straw, there it is. You watching? And my straw reaches … acrooooooooooos the room … and starts to drink you milkshake … I – drink – your – MILKSHAKE! *Slurp* I DRINK IT UP!”
Man, I never get tired of that.
Frankenstein: Whose brain did you bring me?
Igor: ” Ummm, some guy named Abby Normal…”
Frankenstein: ” You brought me an ABNORMAL BRAIN????”
and Igor(to horses):” BLUCHER!”
Horses: EEEEEEEEEEE!
From Young Frankenstein
(Bobby wants plain toast, which isn’t on the menu)
Bobby: “I’d like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.”
Waitress: “A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?”
Bobby: “Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules. ”
Waitress: “You want me to hold the chicken, huh?”
Bobby: “I want you to hold it between your knees.”
Five Easy Pieces
OK, this is getting completely carried away, but I can not edit The Holy Grail. Be grateful that I don’t post the entire script. One of the funniest movie dialogues ever:
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You’re using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You’ve got two empty halves of coconut and you’re bangin’ ‘em together.
King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through…
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where’d you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut’s tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn’t matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?
J.M. Barrie: “And what precisely is Michael’s crime?”
George: “He’s my younger brother.”
Finding Neverland
“People wish to kill you. Anyone who’s met you, I imagine.” Sister Act
Captain Love: “After all, it’s only one man.”
Don Rafael: “It isn’t just one man, d*** it. It’s ZORRO.”
Alejandro: “Do you surrender?”
Elena: “Never. But I may scream.”
Alejandro: “I understand. Sometimes I have that effect.”
both from The Mask of Zorro
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
- The Silence of the Lambs
I’m not asking much. Just a token really, a trifle. You’ll never even miss it. What I want from you is… your voice.
- The Little Mermaid
Korg – the Naked Gun quote about the actors gave me a laugh this morning, thanks. Miles365 I love that prayer from Sister Act. Fricka – don’t you just love Gene Wilder? Red Rocker – here’s one from MPATHG -
Black Knight: ‘Tis but a scratch.
Arthur: A scratch?! Your arm’s off!
Black Knight: No it isn’t.
Arthur: Well what’s that then?
Black Knight: I’ve had worse.
and…
It’s only a flesh wound.
Tom – I am mesmerized by There Will Be Blood.
Did you think your song and dance and your superstition would help you, Eli? I am the Third Revelation! I am who the Lord has chosen!
- There Will Be Blood
See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?
- Signs
Being an actor’s no different than being a rugby player or a construction worker, save for the fact that my tools are the mechanisms that trigger human emotion.
…which actually is funny when you remember it’s the same actor who uttered….
I know who I am! I’m a dude playing a dude disgused as another dude!
- Tropic Thunder
For those requesting, in my first comment (sorry delayed!): Ratatouille, The Incredibles twice, The Iron Giant, and Elizabethtown twice.
Red Rocker asked, so Spoiler Warning:
Hogarth (voiceover): “You are who you choose to be.”
Iron Giant: “Superman.”
(A bit better with the character and event setups than in isolation, but in context, perfection. Brad Bird is the best director around for my money.)
About a Boy
Christine: Oh, no… it’s just I thought you had hidden depths.
Will: No, no, you’ve always had that wrong about me. I really am this shallow.
While You Were Sleeping
Lucy: If you fit into my pants I will kill myself.
Contact
Ellie Arroway: I’ll tell you one thing about the universe, though. The universe is a pretty big place. It’s bigger than anything anyone has ever dreamed of before. So if it’s just us… seems like an awful waste of space. Right?
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry: Poor Professor Lupin’s having a really tough night.
Sirius (to Snape): Why don’t you run along and play with your chemistry set?
Harry: “Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, offer their compliments to Professor Snape and… ”
Snape:” Go on.”
Harry: “… and request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.”
You just want to send me off. That won’t do. I’ve stayed here and been beaten like a dog. Abused and cursed and driven man, but I stayed just to be near you. Even as a dog! And I’ll stay till the end. I’ll live and I’ll die under this rock!
No matter what I ever do or say, Heathcliff, this is me – now – standing on this hill with you. This is me, forever.
He seems to take pleasure in being mean and brutal. And yet, he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. And Linton’s is as different as frost from fire… Ellen, I AM Heathcliff.
Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest so long as I live on! I killed you. Haunt me, then! Haunt your murderer! I know that ghosts have wandered on the Earth. Be with me always. Take any form, drive me mad, only do not leave me in this dark alone where I cannot find you. I cannot live without my life! I cannot die without my soul.
- Wurthering Heights
The Rocky Horror Picture Show in its entirety.
Mars Attacks!
First Lady: (after seeing the Martians for the first time) I’m not allowing that thing in my house.
President Dale: Sweetie, we may have to. The people expect me to meet with them.
First Lady: Well, they’re not going to eat off the Van Buren china.
President Dale: What do you think, Marcia?
First Lady: Kick the crap out of ‘em.
Richie Norris: I bet you’re psyched about the Martians coming, Grandma? I mean, you’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff already. Everyone must have been real scared when they invented the train!
Grandma Florence Norris: Come on kid, I’m not that old!
Rude Gambler: You wanna conquer the world, you’re going to need lawyers, right?
And because this is a Harry Potter site after all:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Kingsley Shacklebolt: You may not like him, Minister, but you can’t deny: Dumbledore’s got style.
Luna: I can see them too. You’re just as sane as I am.
Snape (watches Harry and Sirius hug in Harry’s memory): I may vomit.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Slughorn: Farewell, Aragog. King of the arachnids. Your body will decay… but your spirit lingers on and your human friends find solace, the loss they have sustained.
I love this thread, love people acknowledging great movie lines…. And as a screenwriter, I just feel compelled to remind you that the actors did not make those lines up.
The writers of everyone’s favorite movie quotes are:
ABOUT A BOY: Peter Hedges, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz (based on the novel by Nick Hornby)
THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI: Earl Mac Rauch
AIRPLANE!: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker
ALIENS: James Cameron, David Giler (story), Walter Hill (story)
ALL ABOUT EVE: Joseph Mankiewicz
AMADEUS: Peter Shaffer (based on his play)
ANCHORMAN: Adam McKay, Will Ferrell
ANIMAL HOUSE: Douglas Kenney, Chris Miller, Harold Ramis
APOCALYPSE NOW: Francis Ford Coppola, John Milius
BACK TO THE FUTURE: Bob Gale, Robert Zemeckis
BATMAN: Sam Hamm, Walter Skaaren (based on the comic books by Bob Kane)
BEST IN SHOW: Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy
BETTER OFF DEAD: Savage Steve Holland
BIG LEBOWSKI: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Gary Goldman, W.D. Richter, David Weinstein
BLADE RUNNER: Hampton Fancher, David Peoples (based on the novel by Philip K. Dick)
BLAZING SADDLES: Andrew Bergman, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Norman Steinberg, Alan Uger
THE BLUES BROTHERS: Dan Aykroyd, John Landis
CASABLANCA: Julius Epstein, Phillip Epstein, Howard Koch (based on the play by Joan Allison and Murray Burnett)
A CHRISTMAS STORY: Leigh Brown, Bob Clark, Jean Shepherd (based on the novel by Jean Shepherd)
COMMANDO: Steven deSouza, Joseph Loeb III (story), Matthew Weisman (story)
CONTACT: Michael Goldenberg, James V. Hart, Ann Druyan (story) (based on the book by Carl Sagan)
COOL HAND LUKE: Donn Pearce, Frank R. Pierson (based on the novel by Donn Pearce)
CROMWELL: Ken Hughes
DARK CITY: Lem Dobbs, David S. Goyer, Alex Proyas
THE DARK KNIGHT: David Goyer, Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan
THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL: Edmund H. North, Harry Bates (story)
DIE HARD: Steven de Souza, Jeb Stuart (based on the novel by Roderic Thorp)
DIRTY HARRY: Harry Julian Fink, R.M. Fink, Dean Riesner
DR. STRANGELOVE: Peter George, Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern (based on the novel by Peter George)
ELIZABETHTOWN: Cameron Crowe
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Leigh Brackett, Lawrence Kasdan, George Lucas (story)
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK: John Carpenter, Nick Castle
EXCALIBUR: John Boorman, Rospo Pallenberg (based on the book by Thomas Malory)
FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH: Cameron Crowe (based on his book)
FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF: John Hughes
FINDING NEVERLAND: David McGee (based on the play by Allan Knee)
FIVE EASY PIECES: Adrien Joyce, Bob Rafelson (story)
FULL METAL JACKET: Gustav Hasford, Michael Herr, Stanley Kubrick (based on the novel by Gustav Hasford)
GHOSTBUSTERS: Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis
THE GODFATHER: Francis Ford Coppola, Mario Puzo (based on the novel by Mario Puzo)
THE GRADUATE: Buck Henry, Calder Willingham (based on the novel by Charles Webb)
GRAN TORINO: Nick Schenk, Dave Johannson (story)
HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE: Steve Kloves (based on the novel by J.K. Rowling)
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE: Steve Kloves (based on the novel by J.K. Rowling)
HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX: Michael Goldenberg (based on the novel by J.K. Rowling)
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN: Steve Kloves (based on the novel by J.K. Rowling)
HIGH FIDELITY: John Cusack, D.V. DeVincentis, Steve Pink, Scott Rosenberg (based on the novel by Nick Hornby)
HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART I: Mel Brooks
THE INCREDIBLES: Brad Bird
INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE: Jeffrey Boam, George Lucas (story), Menno Meyjes (story)
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS: W.D. Richter (based on the novel by Jack Finney)
THE IRON GIANT: Tim McCanlies (based on the book by Ted Hughes)
IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: Frank Capra, Frances Goodrich, Albert Hackett, Philip Van Doren Stern (story)
JAWS: Peter Benchley, Carl Gottlieb (based on the novel by Peter Benchley)
THE JERK: Michael Elias, Carl Gottlieb, Steve Martin
JURASSIC PARK: Michael Crichton, David Koepp (based on the novel by Michael Crichton)
L.A. CONFIDENTIAL: Curtis Hanson, Brian Helgeland (based on the novel by James Ellroy)
LAURA: Jay Dratler, Samuel Hoffenstein, Betty Reinhardt (based on the novel by Vera Caspary)
THE LIBRARIAN: David Titcher
THE LION IN WINTER: James Goldman (based on his play)
THE LITTLE MERMAID: Ron Clements, John Musker (based on the fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen)
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING: Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh (based on the novel by J.R.R. Tolkien)
THE MALTESE FALCON: John Huston (based on the novel by Dashiell Hammett)
MARS ATTACKS: Jonathan Gems
THE MASK OF ZORRO: Ted Elliott, John Eskow, Randall Jahnson, Terry Rossio
M*A*S*H: Ring Lardner, Jr. (based on the novel by Richard Hooker)
MISSISSIPPI BURNING: Chris Gerolmo
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Mark Forstater, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin
MYSTERY MEN: Neil Cuthbert (based on the comic book series by Bob Burden)
THE NAKED GUN: Pat Proft (based on the tv series by Jim Abraham, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker)
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE: Jared Hess, Jerusha Hess
O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, (based on the epic poem by Homer)
ON THE WATERFRONT: Budd Schulberg (suggested by articles by Malcolm Johnson)
THE PARTY: Blake Edwards, Frank Waldman, Tom Waldman
PLANET OF THE APES: Rod Serling, Michael Wilson (based on the novel by Pierre Boulle)
POLTERGEIST: Michael Grais, Steven Spielberg, Mark Victor
PREDATOR: Jim Thomas, John Thomas
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Andrew Davis (based on the novel by Jane Austen)
THE PRINCESS BRIDE: William Goldman (based on his novel)
PSYCHO: Joseph Stefano (based on the novel by Robert Bloch)
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: Lawrence Kasden, Philip Kaufman (story), George Lucas (story)
RATATOUILLE: Brad Bird, Jim Capobianco, Jan Pinkava (story)
THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW: Richard O’Brien, Jim Sharman (based on the musical by Richard O’Brien)
SCROOGED: Mitch Glazer, Michael O’Donoghue (based on the novel by Charles Dickens)
SIGNS: M. Night Shyamalan
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: Ted Tally (based on the novel by Thomas Harris)
SISTER ACT: Joseph Howard
SOYLENT GREEN: Stanley Greenberg (based on the novel by Harry Harrison)
SPACEBALLS: Mel Brooks, Ronny Graham, Thomas Meehan
SMOKE SIGNALS: Sherman Alexie (based on his book)
STAR TREK: THE WRATH OF KHAN: Harve Bennett, Jack B. Sowards (based on the television series by Gene Roddenberry)
STAR WARS: George Lucas
SUDDEN IMPACT: Joseph Stinson, Charles Pierce (story), Earl Smith (story)
SUNSET BOULEVARD: Charles Brackett, D.M. Marshman, Billy Wilder
SURF NINJAS: Dan Gordon
THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Paul Thomas Anderson (based on the novel by Upton Sinclair)
TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT: William Faulkner, Jules Furthman
TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE: John Huston (based on the book by B. Traven)
TROPIC THUNDER: Etan Cohen, Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux
TWISTER: Michael Crichton, Anne-Marie Martin
UNCLE BUCK: John Hughes
THE VILLAGE: M. Night Shyamalan
THE WARRIORS: David Shaber, Walter Hill (based on the novel by Sol Yurick)
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING: Fredric LeBow, Daniel G. Sullivan
THE WIZARD OF OZ: Noel Langley, Florence Robinson, Edgar Allan Woolf (based on the novel by L. Frank Baum)
WUTHERING HEIGHTS: Ben Hecht, Charles MacArthur (based on the novel by Emily Bronte)
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN: Mel Brooks, Gene Wilder (based on the novel by Mary Shelley)
ZULU: Cy Endfield, John Prebble
I always do this one at parties:
” Harry, forgive me, I’d almost forgotten you were here. Standing on the bones of my father. I’d introduce you but rumour has it you’re almost as famous as me these days. The boy who lived. How lies have fed your legend Harry. Should I reveal what really happened that night seventeen years ago? Should I divulge how it was I truly lost my powers? It was love. You see, when dear, sweet Lily Potter gave her life for her only son, she provided him with the ultimate form of protection. I could not touch him. It was old magic. Something I should have foreseen. But no matter, no matter. I can touch you now! Astonishing what a few drops of your blood will do, eh Potter. Pick up your wand Harry. Get it up, get it up. You’ve been taught how to duel I expect? First, we bow to each other. Come now Harry, the niceties must be observed. Dumbledore wouldn’t want you to forget your manners now would he? I said BOW! Atta boy, Harry. And NOW …”
Works better if you’re using a poker as a magic wand. Gets all the laughs (and the screams if you do it properly, making eye-contact with each audience member).
I used to love There Will Be Blood, Joivre, but I realised it exacerbated my depression so I threw it away. Still has some great lines though!
Janet, we bow to your awesomeness.
revgeorge, love your GOF quote (I was wondering when you would recite Sir Michael) and the Die Hard line made me laugh.
Okay, we need to pay homage to some classics, in no particular order:
‘Welcome to the Marshallsea!’
–Alec Guiness as Mr. Dorrit, Little Dorrit
‘Lovely to meet you, Rose. Run for you life!’
–9th Doctor, Rose
‘Are you sure this planet’s meant to be here?’
–4th Doctor, The Key of Time, pt II (screenwriter: Douglas Adams)
‘Exterminate! Exterminate!’
–(I really don’t need to cite this, do I?)
‘Merry Christmas, Mr. Potter!’
‘Happy New Year to you–in jail!’
–(Again, must I cite?)
‘I guess it’s just another lost cause, Mr. Paine.’
–Jimmy Stewart as Jefferson Smith, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
‘I gotta stay…’
–Gary Cooper, High Noon
‘Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was, oh no, not again! Many people have speculated that if we knew why the bowl of petunias thought that, we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.’
–Hugh Laurie as The Book, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
(The closing sequence of Unbreakable, which I will not cite because it is the ultimate spoiler of Shaymalan’s career.)
‘True love is the greatest thing in the world–except a nice MLT, Mutton Lettuce and Tomato sandwich? Where the mutton is nice and lean. They’re so perky, I love dat. But that’s not what he said! He clearly said, ‘To blave!’ And as everybody knows, to blave means to bluff. So you were playing cards, and he cheated, huh?’
–Billy Crystal as Miracle Max, The Princess Bride. (I spare you from my simply reproducing the entire script here.)
‘Who says life is fair? Where’s that written?’
–Peter Falk as the grandfather, The Princess Bride
‘It is required of every man that the spirit within him walk abroad among his fellow men. If it go not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death, doomed to wander through the world in incessant torture of remorse, and witness what it cannot share, but might have shared and turned to happiness.’
–Micheal Hordern as Marley’s Ghost, Scrooge (but the quote, obviously, is pure Dickens)
‘I’m Batman.’
–Christian Bale as Batman, Batman Begins
‘I can’t neither read nor write. But I can copy–copy from memory!’
–Bernard Hermann as Krook, Bleak House
Toad: ‘I say you fellows! You’re just in time to come for a jolly spin in my new–my new–
Badger: ‘You will not be needing that–machine!’
–David Jason and Michael Hordern, The Wind in the Willows
Okay…that scratches the surface, sort of. I’m done.
“Don’t try to stop me this time, Smee. Don’t try to stop me this time, Smee. Don’t you dare try to stop me this time, Smee, try to stop me.”
- Hook
“I hid under your porch because I love you.”
- Dug, UP
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
- (C’mon, take a wild guess.)
“Thanks for the adventure. Now go have a new one!”
- UP (Not the least bit ashamed to admit I cried in the theater.)
“It’s the character that’s the strongest that God gives the most challenges to. Now you can take that as a compliment.”
- Return to Me
“You wrote that the world doesn’t need a savior. But every day I hear people crying for one.”
- Superman Returns
And the one I quote all the time when copyediting:
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Wow! Janet – you’re amazing! That list was Wagnerian – it must have taken awhile to compile (unless you have all those names in your noodle, which I wouldn’t doubt!) You have more time on your hands than I do!
Oh man, oh man, Eric, I’d forgotten that line (I was thinking of subsequent events. But you are so right. That is one of the best, most definitive lines ever!
In fact (I’m still carrying on about the Iron Giant’s last spoken word), that line is not just dialogue: it is plot. The story is advanced – and actually reaches its resolution – in that line. I know I use the word “genius” loosely sometimes, but that line – that single word – was a work of genius on the part of Tim McCanlies.
And thank you, Janet for giving credit where it was due. You are so right: the lines did not write themselves. And although the actors who spoke them gave them their power, so did the women (and men) with the pen.
“We have to save the world, my son.” The Fifth Element
Police Officer: Sir, are you classified as human?
Korben Dallas: Negative, I am a meat popsicle. The Fifth Element
“That’s the fact, Jack!” Stripes
John Winger: C’mon, it’s Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick ‘em up, we zip right out again. We’re not going to Moscow. It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like we’re going into Wisconsin.
Russell Ziskey: Well, I got the s*** kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it. Stripes
“I’ve always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, ‘Never hit anyone in anger, unless you’re absolutely sure you can get away with it.’” Stripes
“And even…and even if we win…if we win… Ha! Even if we win. Even if we play so far over our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days. Even if God in Heaven above comes down and points His hand at our side of the field. Even if every man, woman, and child held hands together and prayed for us to win. It just wouldn’t matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guy from Mohawk cause they’ve got all the money. It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose. It just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter!” Meatballs
“A pledge pin! On your uniform?” Animal House
“Toga! Toga!” Animal House
” …what is best in life?”
Conan: “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!” Conan the Barbarian
“There comes a time, thief, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a father’s love for his child.” Conan the Barbarian
“Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. That’s what’s important! Valor pleases you Crom, so grant me this one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to hell with you!” Conan the Barbarian
Some Starman:
Starman: Okay?
Jenny Hayden: Okay? Are you crazy? You almost got us killed! You said you watched me, you said you knew the rules!
Starman: I do know the rules.
Jenny Hayden: Oh, for your information pal, that was a *yellow* light back there!
Starman: I watched you very carefully. Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast.
“I feel the need…the need for speed!” Top Gun
“We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live.” I’ll give an attaboy to anyone who guesses where this quote came from.
Sounds like Ben Hur or maybe The Sea Hawk?
It’s going to have to be an “Atta-girl” Revgeorge -
The Ten Commandments
My favorite from that little tiny film is –
Oh, Moses, Moses, why of all men did I fall in love with a prince of fools?
(Has anyone ever noticed that no one says Moses’ name only once in that film? It’s always – Moses, Moses….)
Actually it is Ben Hur, so attaboy to korg. Sorry Joivre.
Well, since we’re into guessing games, who said this?
“Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.”
[b]Red Rocker[/b]–
Butch Cassidy, of course.
(written by William Goldman)
Also I love Yul Brynner (oooooh so sexy) as Rameses II.
So let it be written. So it shall be done.
Oh darn! I’m mixing up my epics with hunks in loin cloths.
“Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?” Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
“You know what I keep thinking about? You know the end of Butch Cassidy? Redford and Newman are almost out of ammunition, and the whole Bolivian army is out- out in front of this little hut?” Beverly Hills Cop
More Ben Hur quotes:
“You have the spirit to fight back but the good sense to control it. Your eyes are full of hate, Forty-One. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”
“In his eagerness to save you, your God has also saved the Roman fleet.”
“Where there is greatness, great government or power, even great feeling or compassion, error also is great.” (Now, tell me who said that in the movie!)
“One wife? One god, that I can understand – but one wife! That is not civilized. It is not generous.”
This one is a favorite line and a challenge. Who said:
“And finally, a wafer thin mint.”
Red Rocker —
It’s Monty Python, isn’t it? Am I in the ballpark?
That’d be Terry Jones as a waiter in The meaning of Life?
Predator
Dutch: If it bleeds we can kill it
Poncho: You’re hit. Your bleeding, man!
Blaine: I ain’t got time to bleed
Dutch: We’re a rescue team, not assassins.
Dutch: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
StarTrek 2
Jim Kirk: KHHHHHAAAAAANNNNN!
Actually John Cleese as the waiter, come to think of it.
revgeorge,
I mean to say that I really like those Conan quotes.
I use them often in conversation.
Guess where this quote comes from:
- He tried to kill me. I think maybe it was Johnson himself
- I hate to tell you but Lyndon Johnson is dead…
- …$&%@, that aint gonna stop him!
Janet, thank you for the list. I loved reading that.
Eric, I can’t believe I forgot about that line from Return to Me–that’s one of my favorite quotations ever, anywhere. (Writer credits: Bonnie Hunt, Don Lake, Samantha Goodman, Andrew Stern.)
Another good movie for quotes is Cool Runnings (written by Lynn Siefert.) It contains hilarious lines:
“Why don’t I draw a line down the middle of your head so it looks like a butt?”–Sanka
It also contains some very moving lines:
Irv: “You want to know why I cheated. Well, that’s fair. I had to win …”
Derice: “But Coach, you already had two gold medals!”
Irv: “Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.”
Korg and Janet, yes it is from Python’s <i.Meaning of Life. And yes, it is John Cleese. He’s got an unrivaled talent for putting icy sarcasm into his voice.
It’s almost as if we’ve been waiting for a thread to start spouting our favorite movie lines.
This is awesome.
And Janet, if you really are carrying all (or even a giant portion) of that information in your head — WOW… My head hurts just thinking it! So, uh, is there anything we should be looking for with your name on it… HMMMM????
I’m a huge Coen Brothers fan, so:
Raising Arizona
Parole Board chairman: You’re not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: ‘Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn’t we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.
The Big Lebowski
The Dude: Did you ever hear of “The Seattle Seven”?
Maude Lebowski: Mmm.
The Dude: That was me… and six other guys.
The Dark Knight
“This town deserves a better class of criminal… and I’m gonna give it to ‘em.”
Bruce Wayne speaking to Alfred: “Accomplice?! I’m gonna tell them the whole thing was your idea.”
Alfred Pennyworth: A long time ago, I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never found anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce Wayne: Then why steal them?
Alfred Pennyworth: Because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Saving Private Ryan
Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln.
That last one makes me cry just reading it…
Dave the Longwinded — Oh heavens, no! I know some of the credits, of course, but I got most of them off imdbpro.com….
And because you asked… the produced movie I’m best known for is Batman Forever (the one w/ Jim Carrey)… But I’m equally known (around Hollywood) for writing what one people consider one of the best unproduced scripts around, Smoke and Mirrors here’s one article that tells a little about it…
And I’m a writing professor at the USC film school, so I really do feel obligated to pay attention to writing credits…
Tells me that a love of movies is another strong bond that the regulars on this site share. We knew that, of course, but to see it demonstrated so unequivocally is … impressive.
Red Rocker,
“Impressive. Most Impressive.” — Darth Vader
Dave I can hear James Earl Jones saying that but I can’t remember the context.
Janet, first, that you’re attached to a Batman film makes you infinitely cooler in my book!
Second, I’m not sure if the film school is affiliated at all with the Annenberg school… but one of my intellectual heroes is Henry Jenkins who just took up the Provost’s Professorship there!
Red Rocker, my geekdom shining through…
It’s Empire Strikes Back — the part where Luke and Vader are battling through the freezing chamber and Luke somersaults out of the pit to avoid carbon freezing.
Janet also wrote a Harry Potter Guide Book that has great reviews on Amazon.com! She’s our pal!!!
Yea!
“The Riddler: Riddle me this, riddle me that, who’s afraid of the big, black bat?”
“Dr. Chase Meridian: Well I wish I could say that my interest in you was… purely professional.
Batman: You trying to get under my cape, doctor?
Dr. Chase Meridian: A girl can’t live by psychoses alone.
Batman: It’s the car, right? Chicks love the car.
Dr. Chase Meridian: What is it about the wrong kind of man? In grade school it was guys with earrings. College, motorcycles, leather jackets. Now, *oh*, black rubber.
Batman: Try firemen, less to take off.
Dr. Chase Meridian: I don’t mind the work. Pity I can’t see behind the mask.
Batman: We all wear masks.
Dr. Chase Meridian: My life’s an open book. You read?
Batman: I don’t blend in at a family picnic.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Oh, we could give it a try. I’ll bring the wine, you bring your scarred psyche.
Batman: Direct aren’t you?
Dr. Chase Meridian: You like strong women. I’ve done my homework. Or do I need skin-tight vinyl and a whip?
Batman: I haven’t had that much luck with women.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.”
“Batman: I read your work. Insightful. Naive, but insightful.
Dr. Chase Meridian: I’m flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero’s night table.”
Batman Forever by Janet!
It’s Monty Python and the Meaning of Life. As I recall the wafer-thin mint causes him to explode. That scene was quite disgusting.
Loving all the quotes, esp. yours, revgeorge. Here are some more:
“My advice, start drinking heavily!” Animal House
“Double-secret probation” Animal House
“You didn’t throw up in front of Dean Wermer. You threw up ON Dean Wermer!” Animal House
“Remain calm! All is well!” Animal House
(And pretty much all of the Animal House movie)
“Anyone ?. . .Anyone?” Ben Stein’s character, Ferris Bueler’s Day Off
“Are you a man or a mouse?” “I’m a mouse!” Cinderella II
“I can’t believe I’m losing to a rug!” Genie, Aladdin
“And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes.” Genie, Aladdin
“Do you trust me?” Aladdin
“That’s not flying! It’s falling, with style.” Woody, Toy Story
Donkey: “Whoa. Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?”
Shrek: “That would be my home.”
Donkey: “Oh and it is LOVELY. You know, you’re really quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.” Shrek
I love the Shrek series. It’s hilarious. Too much to quote.
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a dam.” [intentional typo] Gone with the Wind
“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” Wizard of Oz
“I have been and always shall be your friend.” Spock, Star Trek
“Hi, I’m Luke Skywalker and I’m here to rescue you.” Star Wars
“Now there’s a name I’ve not heard in a looong time.” Obi-won Kenobe, Star Wars
“These are not the droids you’ve been looking for.” Star Wars
God: “Every time I try to talk to someone it’s ’sorry this’ and ‘forgive me that’ and ‘I’m not worthy.’” Monty Python and the Holy Grail [MPHG]
Dennis: “Help! Help! I’m being repressed!” MPHG
Bridgekeeper: “What is your favorite color?”
Galahad: “Blue. No yel . . . .auuuuuuuuugh” MPHG
“I’m from the future and I’m here to help you with your history report” Rufus, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Bill: “You ditched Napoleon?!”
Deacon: “He was a dick!” Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
“I’ve got ghosts coming in from Jersey!” Whoopi Goldberg’s character, Ghost
“Who ya gonna call?” Ghostbusters!
Dr. Evil: “Why must I be surrounded by frickin idiots?” Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery [AP]
Austin Powers: “Honestly, it’s not mine!” AP
Dr. Evil: “Scott, I want you to meet daddy’s nemesis, Austin Powers.”
Scott Evil: “What? Are you feeding him? Why don’t you just kill him?”
Dr. Evil: “I have an even better idea. I’m going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.”
Dr. Evil: “All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.”
[guard starts dipping mechanism]
Dr. Evil: “Close the tank!”
Scott Evil: “Wait, aren’t you even going to watch them? They could get away!”
Dr. Evil: “No no no, I’m going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I’m just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?”
Scott Evil: “I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I’ll get it, I’ll come back down here, BOOM, I’ll blow their brains out!”
Dr. Evil: “Scott, you just don’t get it, do ya? You don’t.” AP
U.N. Representative: “So, Mr. Evil…”
Dr. Evil: “It’s Dr. Evil, I didn’t spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called “mister,” thank you very much.” AP
Vanessa Kensington: “Mr. Powers, my job is to acclimatize you to the nineties. You know, a lot’s changed since 1967.”
Austin Powers: “No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I’ll be sound as a pound!” AP
There is so, so, so much more that could be quoted from Austin Powers.
“I’ll have what she’s having.” When Harry Met Sally
“One word: plastics.” The Graduate
Aliens
Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. Its the only way to be sure
Hudson: @#%&ing AY!
Bowler-hat Guy: “Hmmmm… Take responsibility for my own life or blame you? DING DING DING! ‘Blame you’ wins hands down!”
Goob: “No. I fell asleep in the ninth inning. And I missed the winning catch. Then I got beat up. Afterward, Coach took me aside. He told me to let it go. I don’t know, he’s probably right. ”
Bowler-hat Guy: “NO! Everyone will tell you to let it go and move on, but don’t! Instead, let it fester and boil inside of you! Take these feelings and lock them away. Let them fuel your actions. Let hate be your ally, and you will be capable of wonderful, horrid things. Heed my words, Goob: don’t let it go.”
Both from Meet the Robinsons.
Love all this, espcially Goob / Bowler-hat Guy, Dr. Evil / Scott Evil, anything and everything from Holy Grail, and Batman / Dr. Chase Meridian (our Janet!).
uh-oh….
I love a bit of American Psycho. Hey, imagine Patrick Bateman, Daniel Plainview and Voldemort in the same room together. Lol! Bateman waxing lyrical about Huey Lewis and the News, Plainview doing his milkshake soliloquy and Voldemort just yelling at them both to bow before him. Eventually they all get annoyed at the lack of attention, Plainview picks up his bowling pin, Bateman gets out the axe and Voldemort unsheaths his wand. Let Ultimate Ego Battle commence!
Darth Vader:
- I find your lack of faith disturbing
- The Force is strong in this one
- Perhaps you feel you’re being treated unfairly?
I had a bashmyheadagainstthewall moment, when I realized I’d forgotten on of the best screenplays, IMHO, ever. Too much to quote–note perfect in every respect–not a word wasted: A Man for All Seasons, by Robert Bolt.
—
Roper: So, now you give the Devil the benefit of law!
More: Yes! What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?
Roper: Yes, I’d cut down every law in England to do that!
More: Oh? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned ’round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, Man’s laws, not God’s! And if you cut them down, and you’re just the man to do it, do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I’d give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety’s sake!
—
More: Why not be a teacher? You’d be a fine teacher, maybe even a great one.
Rich: And if I was, who would know it?
More: You. Your students. God. Not a bad public, that.
—
More: Listen, Meg, God made the angels to show Him splendor, as He made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But Man He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of his mind. If He suffers us to come to such a case that there is no escaping, then we may stand to our tackle as best we can, and, yes, Meg, then we can clamor like champions, if we have the spittle for it. But it’s God’s part, not our own, to bring ourselves to such a pass. Our natural business lies in escaping. If I can take the oath, I will.
—
(Thomas More: Paul Scofield, Roper: Colin Redgrave, Rich: John Hurt. And an unforgettable cameo of Cardinal Wolsey: Orson Welles.)
Wait, Rich was John Hurt? Dang, I need to watch that movie again.
“The details of my life are quite inconsequential…. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament… My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon… luge lessons… In the spring, we’d make meat helmets… When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it’s breathtaking… I suggest you try it. When I was 18 I went to evil medical school. At age 25 I took up tap dancing. I wanted to be a quadruple threat: an actor, dancer…. ”
- Austin Powers
“If you were to determine what attribute a German shares with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. However if you were to determine what attribute the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Hitler and Goebbels propaganda has said much the same thing but where our comparisons differ is that I don’t consider the comparison an insult. If a rat were to scamper through the door as I’m speaking, would you treat it with hostility. Has a rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity. Rats were the cause of bubonic plague, it’s true but that’s some time ago. I propose to you any disease a rat carries a squirrel could just as easily carry, yet I assume you don’t share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats? Yet they’re both rodents and aside from the tail they even look somewhat alike. If a rat were to strut in here, would you greet it with a saucer of your delicious milk? I thought not. You don’t like them. You don’t exactly know why you don’t like them, all you know is you find em repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of harbouring Jews. He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic. He looks in all the places a hawk would think to hide but there are so many places it wouldn’t even occur to a hawk to hide. Now the reason the Fuhrer has taken me off my rounds in Austria and placed me in French cow country is because I can think like a Jew whereas the others can only think like a German. Or more precisely German soldier. Because I’m aware of what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.”
That was Standartenfuhrer Hans “the Jew Hunter” Landa from Quentin Tarantino’s undisputed masterpiece, Inglourious Basterds. Psychopaths always have the best lines!
Um, I’m not sure why you quoted that, Tom. It doesn’t seem like a great quote to me and I find the substance of it rather offensive.
I politely disagree Lily Luna. That is the greatest quote out of Inglourious Basterds. It was the quote that won Christoph Waltz the Best Actor award at Cannes and it will undoubtedly win him a Best Supporting Actor award at the Oscars this year.
Yes – Hans Landa is the villain – it’s offensive – it’s supposed to be – but that’s standard Tarantino fare.
Yeah, the problem seems a lack of context for Tom’s quote. I’m pretty sure the point of that monologue is to demonstrably prove the foolish logic of the Nazi character, rather than disparage anyone who is Jewish.
It might be wise, from now on, if we’re posting anything that is the least bit controversial to provide a little background so that the quote makes more sense.
And I assume that kids at least find the blog even if they don’t read it that much, so we should definitely maintain editing our language!
I like a lot of Tarantino films, but he’s certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. I still have seen IB, yet — but I reeeeaallly want to.
Tom did end his one comment by saying “Psychopaths get all the best lines.” So, that put the quote into context for me, i.e. that Tom wasn’t saying the quote was true or anything like that but showing how the Nazi officer was so wrong. Just my two cents.
Christoph Waltz probably did a great job of delivering that line. But without his performance, and without the context of Tarantino’s script, it looks like an insulting – and not particular witty – diatribe with the sole purpose of insulting Jews.
Just to put it in context, this post has 100+ quotes from different movies. I’ve read all of them (well, maybe not all the Animal House stuff) but none of the others is an out-and-out attack on one group of people. Certainly none of them made me go: “Whoa! What’s up with that?”
I can’t believe I’ve missed this entire conversation. This is a comment to accomplish two things: (1) subscribe to the remainder of this great discussion, and (2) affirm Dave’s and George’s response to the quote from Inglorious Basterds. (Dave, yes – watch that film!)
The substance of the quote is indeed offensive (and absurd), which is why the quote is great in the mouth of an idiot.
Although I will admit the contextual comment of “out of the mouths of psychopaths” may have worked better in front of the quote rather than at the end of it when people may have stopped reading. But still I have no objection to the posting of the quote itself. Such things are useful in reminding us how wrong such sentiments were in real life.
Hear, hear, Revgeorge.
And actually – what we’re doing here are quotes – yes, but some are whole scenes and monologues. Which is fine. People are expressing themselves. It’s interesting how much you can learn about someone through their quotes.
revgeorge, I don’t need reminding that such sentiments were wrong. But I will concede that others might. People forget what actions such sentiments lead to. Here is a reminder of what that looks like:
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/unaware.html
“Oskar Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don’t know. If I’d just… I could have got more.
Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
Oskar Schindler: If I’d made more money… I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I’d just…
Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.
Oskar Schindler: I didn’t do enough!
Itzhak Stern: You did so much.
Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people. This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this. I could have gotten one more person… and I didn’t! And I… I didn’t!”
- Schindler’s List
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC5QOeyDh2A various Godzilla quotes
“When you grow up, your heart dies.” The Breakfast Club
“A good friend of mine used to say, “This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.” Think about that for a while.” Bull Durham
“Walt Whitman once said, “I see great things in baseball. It’s our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.” You could look it up.” Bull Durham
Man, only two more months till the season starts. C’mon on, hurry up!
The blessings and the curse that come with being a Cubs fan.
To another season, more heartache, and more commiserating with revgeorge! At least we don’t have to watch Milton Bradley throw the ball into the stands with two outs. Z will probably do it instead…
Go Cubs Go…
“Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.” Dracula
“Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.” Dune
“We Fremen have a saying: God created Arrakis to train the faithful. One cannot go against the word of God.” Dune
“A blessing for the Tzar? Of course. May God bless and keep the Tzar… far away from us!” Fiddler on the Roof
“Keeping our word is one of the things that make us better than you.” Flash Gordon
“Red wine with fish… Well, that should have told me something.” From Russia with Love
“If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.” Grease
“Even a man who is pure in heart
and says his prayers by night
may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms
and the autumn moon is bright.”
The Wolfman
“Some like it hot – but I like it smokin’ hot!”
- Mr. Heat Miser in The Year Without a Santa Claus
“There’s a very peculiar mental process called thinking. You wouldn’t know much about that.” – My Man Godfrey, 1936.
Not directed at anyone here, of course.
Everyone, I’m deeply sorry to have caused offence. I just want you all to know that I am in no way supportive of the Nazi ideology, nor am I antisemitic. On the contrary, I have the greatest respect for the Jewish people. I admire both their intellect and their wit. My great uncle is in fact Jewish. My reason for presenting the quote was because it created the perfect characterisation of a deranged mind. Like Umbridge’s ranting about authority and order, it makes you immediately hate the character. Travis, if you don’t like the quote, then by all means remove it.
I end this comment with an excellent and not remotely offensive quote from the same movie.
“Well if this is it old boy, I hope you don’t mind if I go out speaking the King’s. You know, they say there’s a special rung in Hell for people who waste good Scotch. Since I may be rapping on the door momentarily, I must say, dashed good stuff sir. Now about this pickle we find ourselves in. It seems there’s only one thing left for you to do. Say auf wiedersein to your Nazi balls.”
PWNED!!!
“A man’s got to know his limitations.” Magnum Force
“Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“Go that way, really fast; if something gets in your way, turn.” Better Off Dead
“So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There’s more to life than a little money, you know. Don’t you know that? And here ya are, and it’s a beautiful day. Well, I just don’t understand it.”
Couldn’t remember if anyone had done this quote from Fargo yet.
“By Grabthar’s hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.” Galaxy Quest
“Golf’s no different from hockey. It requires talent and self discipline.” Happy Gilmore
“I have something to say. It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” Highlander And of course there’s “There can be only one!”
“Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out of mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget to breathe, very important.” The Karate Kid
“It’s mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.” Kill Bill Vol. 1
“Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He’s weak, he’s unsure of himself, he’s a coward. Clark Kent is Superman’s critique on the whole human race.” Kill Bill Vol. 2
“I’m a killer. I’m a murdering bastard, you know that. And there are consequences to breaking the heart of a murdering bastard.” Kill Bill Vol. 2
“Very American. Fire enough bullets and hope to hit the target.” The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… dying time’s here!” Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome
“It is so easy to get the better of people when they care about each other — which is why evil will always have the edge.” Mystery Men
“You must be like the wolf pack… not like the six-pack.”
“We are number one! All others are number two, or lower.”
“We’ve got a blind date with Destiny. And it looks like she’s ordered the lobster.”
“We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the hammer of not-bickering.”
“Uh, please don’t correct me. It sickens me.”
I could keep quoting Mystery Men all day.
“Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.” Robin Hood: Men in Tights
“You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?” Taxi Driver
“Shall we play a game?” Wargames
“That’s not a bad idea. Making a girl. Actually making a girl. Just like Frankenstein…except cuter.” Weird Science
“I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.” Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
“They’re my theme music. Every hero’s got to have some.” I’m Gonna Git You Sucka
“That’ll do, pig, that’ll do.” – Babe
Can somebody slow revgeorge down? At this rate, he’s going to quote every movie ever filmed in English.
Rotti Largo: You’ve exceeded all my plans.
Luigi Largo: More than you could say for Amber.
Rotti: More than I could say for you.
Luigi: What?
Pavi Largo: Ha-haa.
Rotti: Or your just as worthless brother.
Luigi: HA!
Pavi: Aww.
I could quote Repo all day!
Just catching up with this great thread. Tom, I usually don’t like Tarantino, but the line, “Say auf Wiedersehen to your Nazi balls” nearly makes me want to watch this one.
Here are some more quotes from Galaxy Quest:
Gwen DeMarco: Jason, we are actors, not astronauts.
Sir Alexander Dane: Could they be the miners?
Fred Kwan: Sure, they’re like three years old.
Sir Alexander Dane: MINERS, not MINORS.
Fred Kwan: You lost me.
Gwen DeMarco: Whoever wrote this episode should DIE.
From Star Trek: Generations:
Lursa (a Klingon woman makes a face): Ugh! Human females are so repulsive.
From Star Trek: First Contact:
Dr. Zefram Cochrane: You think I want to go to the stars? I don’t even like to fly – I take trains.
One wonders how he actually managed to invent warp flight.
Lily Sloane: Borg? Sounds Swedish.
Dr. Zefram Cochrane: So you’re all astronauts on some sort of… star trek?
“Meticulous planning, tenacity spanning, decades of denial, is simply why I’ll be king undisputed, respected saluted and seen for the wonder I am. Yes my teeth and ambitions are bared, be prepared!”
“No, of course not. They never do tests. Not many real deeds either. Oh, conversation with your grandmother’s shade in a darkened room, the odd love potion or two, but comes a doubter, why, then it’s the wrong day, the planets are not in line, the entrails are not favorable, ‘we don’t do tests!’” Dragonslayer
The Silent Movie:
Marcel Marceau “No!”
Vidiot from UHF:
Man: Can you tell me where I can find a book on astronomy?
Conan the Librarian: Don’t you know the Dewy Decimal System?!
Raul: Badgers? Badgers?! We don’t need no stinking badgers!
Bowfinger:
-You prefer alien-love
- Alien love! What’s alien love!?
Amazon Women on the Moon:
Pimp: Safety and good mileage are the two things I looked for in a new car. That’s why I bought a Volvo stationwagon.
Henry Silva: Is this the way it happened? Was Jack the Ripper in fact a sixty-foot sea serpent from Scotland? Did I take this job to make a quick buck? We may never know the answers to these questions.
Son of the Invisible Man: Ever see a shirt make a phone call?
Pirate 1: Help yourself, mates. A chest full of video discs.
Pirate 2: No!
Pirate 3: What good are they?
Pirate 4: Can’t record on ‘em.
Pirate 2: They’re not compatible with my system.
Pirate Captain: [looking at the FBI Warning on the video] Ohhh, I’m so scared.
B.B. King: Did you know that every 7 minutes, a black person is born in this country with no soul?
Maggots, vermin, you want the world for nothing. Commence your grovelling, Rotti your kind is dying. Even Rotti Largo cannot prevent this passing. Who will inherit GeneCo? I’ll keep those vultures guessing.
King, sorry, not kind. Damned typos.
The Mirror Has Two Faces:
The mathematical world is completely rational, uncomplicated by sex.
Mathematics can go and engage in procreation with themselves.
I’m so polite.
Terminator:
Hobo: Hey buddy, did you just see a real bright light?
Highlander:
Hotdog Vendor: Hey Moran! Have you read what it says in here?
Lieutenant Frank Moran: You kiddin’ Tony? You know cops can’t read.
Tony the Hotdog Vendor: What does ‘INCOMPETENT’ mean? Hey! What does ‘BAFFLED’ mean? Hee hee hee hee! Ha ha ha ha!
Kurgan: I’m in disguise!
Angus MacLeod: He’s a Highlander, by God, and the last sound he hears should not be that of a wailing woman!
Little late to the party, but here goes:
Princess Leia: I love you.
Han Solo: I know.
The Empire Strikes Back
Doc Brown: I’m sure that in 1985 plutonium is available in every corner drug store, but in 1955 it’s a little hard to come by.
Biff Tannen: Why don’t you make like a tree and… get out of here?
Doc Brown: 1.21 gigawatts? 1.21 gigawatts? Great Scott!
Back to the Future
Marty: Doc, Doc! Okay, okay! Relax, Doc! It’s me, it’s me, Marty.
Doc: No! It can’t be. I just sent you back to the future.
Marty: I know, you did send me back to the future, but I’m back, I’m back from the future.
Doc: Great Scott!
Back to the Future Part II
Danny: Tess, you’re doing a great job curating the museum, the Vermeer is quite good, simple, vibrant, but his work definitely fell off as he got older.
Tess: Remind you of anyone?
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?
Tess: Monet.
Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: They also painted occasionally.
Ocean’s Eleven
Dalek Sec: Identify him.
Rose Tyler: Alright then….If you really want to know, that’s the Doctor. Five million cybermen, easy. One Doctor, now you’re scared!
Dr. Who, 10th Doctor, Doomsday
“It’s all part of life’s rich pattern, Brenda, and you better (blank) get used to it.” The Running Man
revgeorge,
I’ve been thinking about The Running Man. Some good lines.
Amber-They’re running men, last season’s winners.
Fireball- No. Last season’s losers
Richards- Killian! I’ll be back.
Killian- …Only in a re-run
Killian- You bastard! Drop dead!
Richards- I don’t do requests.
Killian- Get him out of here! …What’s the matter, steroids make you deaf? Get him out of here now!
“Laughlin, stop trying to teach the Constitution to the street punks.” The Running
Ha!
You know, I always thought he said “Lofgren, stop trying to teach the Constitution to the street pox.”
“Well, it is a contact sport, okay? You want ratings. You want people in front of the television instead of picket lines. Well, you’re not gonna get that with re-runs of Gilligan’s Island.”
“This is television, that’s all it is. It has nothing to do with people, it’s to do with ratings! For fifty years, we’ve told them what to eat, what to drink, what to wear… for Christ’s sake, Ben, don’t you understand? Americans love television. They wean their kids on it. Listen. They love game shows, they love wrestling, they love sports and violence. So what do we do? We give ‘em *what they want*! We’re number one, Ben, that’s all that counts, believe me. I’ve been in the business for thirty years.”
The Running Man
I love some of the posters in the background in The Running Man-
The Hate Boat
Pain, American Stlye.
And the Solid Gold Dancers…
Obi-Wan- He’s more machine now than man. Twisted and evil
Agent Smith- Tell me, Mr Anderson, what good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?
My favorite line is just prior to that:
“How about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call?”
Agent Smith- Hear that, Mr Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability…
Trinity- What’s he doing?
Morpheus- He’s beginning to believe.
Neo- Mr. Wizard. Get me the hell out of here.
Oracle- You’re cuter than I thought. I can see why she likes you.
Neo- Who?
Oracle- Not too bright, though.
Spoon boy- Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
Neo- What truth?
Spoon boy- There is no spoon.
Neo- There is no spoon?
Spoon boy- Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.